{"id":53254,"date":"2014-06-24T19:42:20","date_gmt":"2014-06-24T23:42:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/countingpips.com\/?p=53254"},"modified":"2014-06-24T19:42:20","modified_gmt":"2014-06-24T23:42:20","slug":"5-women-who-made-me-rich-and-what-they-can-teach-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.investmacro.com\/forex\/2014\/06\/5-women-who-made-me-rich-and-what-they-can-teach-you\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Women Who Made Me Rich and What They Can Teach You"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"inves-1629740033\" class=\"inves-below-title-posts inves-entity-placement\"><div id =\"posts_date_custom\"><div align=\"left\">June 24, 2014<\/div><hr style=\"border: none; border-bottom: 3px solid black;\">\r\n<\/div><\/div><h4><span style=\"font-size: small;\">By Dennis Miller, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.millersmoney.com\/go\/v8e62-2\/PIP\">millersmoney.com<\/a><br \/>\n<\/span><\/h4>\n<p>My grandmother refused to share the heart-wrenching details until I was in the Marine Corps. I\u2019d heard bits and pieces about my ne\u2019er-do-well father but didn\u2019t fully grasp the devastation he\u2019d left behind until Grandmother spilled the story with tears in her eyes:<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/trk.caseyresearch.com\/f\/?content_id=904&amp;code=PIP&amp;editorial=5-women-who-made-me-rich-and-what-they-can-teach-you\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left: .5in;\">Your father never worked. After you were born he stole all the money in the house, vanished, and was never seen again. Fortunately your mother had gone back to work earning $8 per week.<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin-left: .5in;\">However, one of the worst parts was: the store repossessed your baby carriage because your father stole the money your mother had saved to pay it off.<\/p>\n<p>This was 1940, and Mom didn\u2019t have the career options women have today. We lived with Grandmother and two unmarried aunts (both born before 1900), and together they raised me. Grandmother assumed the traditional mother role, while my mom and aunts worked so we could all survive.<\/p>\n<p>While Mom eventually remarried, for 16 of the 18 years I lived at home, it was just four women and me. I wouldn\u2019t bond with my stepfather\u2014a true stand-up guy\u2014until years later.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019d think the importance of women\u2019s financial independence would be a no-brainer for me. But, as my ex-wife and oldest daughter, Dawn, would say, \u201cYou meant well, but you were a slow learner.\u201d<\/p><div id=\"inves-1613047586\" class=\"inves-in-content inves-entity-placement\"><hr style=\"border: 1px solid #ddd;\">\r\n<div id=\"inpost_ads_header\">\r\n<p style=\"font-size:10px; float:left; color:#666;\">Free Reports:<\/p><\/div>\r\n<div id=\"inpost_ads\"> \r\n<p style=\"font-size:15px; float:left;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/goo.gl\/1ApBOV\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/investmacro.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/graph_techs_PD.png\" align=\"left\" width=\"80\"  height=\"55\"\/><\/a>\r\n\t     <a href=\"https:\/\/goo.gl\/1ApBOV\"><b><u>Get Our Free Metatrader 4 Indicators<\/u><\/b><\/a> - Put Our Free MetaTrader 4 Custom Indicators on your charts when you join our Weekly Newsletter<\/p><br><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p style=\"font-size:15px; float:left;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/goo.gl\/f3RrHX\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/investmacro.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/cot_pie_80.png\" align=\"left\" width=\"80\"  height=\"55\"\/><\/a>\r\n\t    <a href=\"https:\/\/goo.gl\/f3RrHX\"><b><u>Get our Weekly Commitment of Traders Reports<\/u><\/b><\/a> - See where the biggest traders (Hedge Funds and Commercial Hedgers) are positioned in the futures markets on a weekly basis.<\/p><br><br>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<hr style=\"border: 1px solid #ddd;\">\r\n<br><\/div>\n<p>When Dawn was close to age 30, she was a vice president at a major bank and managed 200 employees. The women\u2019s movement had blossomed by then, and more and more women were popping up in the sales training courses I taught at the time. When Dawn and I talked this over she made it clear that what I\u2019d learned about women, work, and money from the formidable ladies who raised me was obsolete. She ended our conversation with, \u201cDad, you just don\u2019t get it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Years later I asked Dawn if I finally \u201cgot it.\u201d She grinned and said, \u201cYou\u2019re doing better!\u201d I never had the courage to ask again.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>A Divorce Gone Right<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Two of the most important people in my life are my wife Jo and my ex-wife, Sonja\u2014two wonderful ladies. Sonja and I married as teenagers and stayed together for 26 years raising three children. Sad to say, we spent the last ten years of our marriage seeing counselors, trying our best to make it work. During a particularly difficult session, Sonja unloaded on me about <em>all<\/em> the things she was unhappy with. She came at me with both barrels.<\/p>\n<p>Afterward I felt terrible that I\u2019d unwittingly done so many things that hurt her and never knew it. Finally I asked, \u201cMy gosh, if you felt that way, why didn\u2019t you just leave?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She looked at me, astonished, like I had just asked the dumbest question on Earth. \u201cI was married with three small children, hadn\u2019t worked in almost ten years, and my parents and grandparents were dead. I was trapped. I had no place to go!\u201d I was shocked, devastated, and speechless.<\/p>\n<p>Ultimately, we designed our own divorce agreement, took it to an attorney, and said, \u201cMake it legal.\u201d In her late 40s then, Sonja immediately started college and forged her own path. She had volunteered at the library when our children were small and loved it. She earned her degree in library sciences and worked at the library until she retired. We are still friends and want the best for each other.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Equal Partnerships Equal Better Results<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>The counselors convinced me that the best marriages are between two independent adults. You stay together because you want the marriage to work, not because you have to. Jo and I are living proof: we\u2019ve been married\u2014in an equal partnership\u2014for 26 happy years and counting. Our families blended; Sonja and Jo share common hobbies and are now good friends to boot!<\/p>\n<p>When Jo and I were married, her father was in the last stages of Parkinson\u2019s disease. He passed away less than three months later and suddenly her mother gave me\u2014her new son-in-law\u2014power of attorney over all of her finances. While I was the most qualified to handle the job, it was an emotional drain.<\/p>\n<p>Jo and I cut a deal. I would take the job, but she would learn as much as she could so that when I passed away she would <em>never <\/em>have to rely on a son-in-law (no matter how loved) or anyone else. Jo kept her promise; she\u2019ll never be financially vulnerable like her mother.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>An Independent Life Lived Fully<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Many of our friends are widows and widowers; some lost a spouse who handled most of the money. It\u2019s hard enough to lose your long-term partner; compounding that pain with confusion about how to protect your nest egg creates a double devastation. Even those with well-intentioned adult children cannot always rely on those children\u2019s questionable financial skills. Suffice it to say, I spend a lot of time bringing curious but inexperienced investors like these up to speed.<\/p>\n<p>In that spirit, I\u2019ll leave you with an important tool for your financial toolbox\u2014a tool I wish my own mother and first wife had had.<\/p>\n<p>To be truly financially independent, you need some of your own money. I\u2019m not recommending spouses keep all of their finances separate. Truth be told, I\u2019m more in the \u201cgo all in or don\u2019t bother\u201d marriage camp. Real life, however, is full of unknowns and preparing for those unknowns is a critical part of money management.<\/p>\n<p>My mother had to fend for herself and an infant son without a college degree or much earning potential. She was a product of her time. Today, women are 33% more likely than men to have earned a college degree by age 27. When I talk to successful career women now they share a common story: their parents drummed the importance of higher education and financial independence into their heads. As a great-grandparent, I\u2019ve been beating that drum for several generations.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>What Does Financial Independence Look Like in Practical Terms? <\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Some pundits recommend women (and men) hold separate assets equal to at least 3-6 months\u2019 living expenses, and I encourage new spouses to consider holding on to this sort of safety net. Be upfront with your spouse about it and encourage him or her to do the same.<\/p>\n<p>In the best marriages, these emergency funds foster equality and respect for the other\u2019s independence. In less ideal circumstances, they give each spouse a personal life vest should the unexpected occur. In short, it helps ensure that both spouses stay because they want to, not because they have to.<\/p>\n<p>As life unfolds and spouses grow together, perhaps the most important thing women can do is to continue their financial educations. At 74, the widow\u2019s club among my peers is growing much faster than the widower\u2019s club, and older women with plenty of money are finding themselves vulnerable; they don\u2019t have the skills and\/or confidence to protect their hard-earned nest eggs, and that\u2019s a damn shame.<\/p>\n<p>One widowed friend told Jo how \u201cthe nice young man\u201d at her brokerage firm found bonds paying almost 6% and she bought them. I looked them up, and they were very low-rated bonds with a reasonable chance of default. Now, buying junk bonds may be just fine\u2014if they don\u2019t default. If they do, you can lose a ton of money. A fund holding several well-diversified bonds would have been a better choice for our friend, but she didn\u2019t know that. Ultimately the bonds did pay off, but she acted on terrible advice, particularly for a retiree.<\/p>\n<p>Knowing enough so you don\u2019t rely on bad advice from a \u201cnice young man\u201d or well-intentioned but clueless family or friends is important at every age. Sad to say, these poor decisions often come down to \u201cI didn\u2019t know what else to do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I commend you for taking a different road. There\u2019s a mess of conflicting financial information on the Internet, in books, and on television, making it difficult to decipher the best ways to grow and protect your money. <strong><em>Miller\u2019s Money Weekly<\/em><\/strong> is an education-driven, free weekly e-letter tailored for conservative investors. To receive unique financial news and insights every Thursday and to learn how to cut through the advice noise, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.millersmoney.com\/go\/v8egy-2\/PIP\" target=\"_blank\">click here to sign up today.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div id=\"xvMdV95u77zU\" style=\"clear: both;\">The article <a href=\"http:\/\/www.millersmoney.com\/go\/v8e3z-2\/PIP\" rel=\"permalink\">5 Women Who Made Me Rich and What They Can Teach You<\/a> was originally published at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.millersmoney.com\/go\/v8e62-2\/PIP\">millersmoney.com<\/a>.<\/div>\n<div style=\"clear: both;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"clear: both;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"clear: both;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"clear: both;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"clear: both;\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Dennis Miller, millersmoney.com My grandmother refused to share the heart-wrenching details until I was in the Marine Corps. I\u2019d heard bits and pieces about my ne\u2019er-do-well father but didn\u2019t fully grasp the devastation he\u2019d left behind until Grandmother spilled the story with tears in her eyes: Your father never worked. After you were born [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-53254","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","no-post-thumbnail"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.investmacro.com\/forex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53254","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.investmacro.com\/forex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.investmacro.com\/forex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.investmacro.com\/forex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.investmacro.com\/forex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=53254"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.investmacro.com\/forex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53254\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.investmacro.com\/forex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=53254"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.investmacro.com\/forex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=53254"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.investmacro.com\/forex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=53254"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}